I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
