Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize