it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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