I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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