she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
you never un-have a 4some
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
