the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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