People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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