I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
