whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
