You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
