even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize