VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My vagina is officially offended.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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