On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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