I wanna passion pit in your ass
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
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