My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
