Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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