i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
