have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
