thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
