I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
