Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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