Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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