He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
