I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize