we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
everyone is single if you try hard enough
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Dick very happy bro
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
