So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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