Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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