me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize