So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just forgot I was standing up.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
