I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
