Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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