Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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