Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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