just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
