Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
