hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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