Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
