she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
