Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
