she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
