why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize