I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
