Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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