I wanna bring you to show and tell
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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