I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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