I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize