I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize