I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
