i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I need a beard to bite.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
