To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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