When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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