It's like a parade of train wrecks.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
