Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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