He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
