Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
