Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize