Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
