One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
