I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
