all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
