Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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