that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
