my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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