So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
