I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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