Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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