I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The adults are the big ones right?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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