At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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