I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
