he wants to bone in the snuggie
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
