At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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