Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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